All around crazy b—— and the so called “Merchant of Death”, Viktor Bout (45) was sentenced to 25 years by a federal judge in a New York courtroom as of this Thursday. The man who rose to notoriety by selling everything from pellet guns to surface-air missiles. Lovely fellow I must say. A happy individual who enjoys slow walks on the beach and cuddling up with a good episode of the Teletubbies at the end of his day. Fun fact, the movie Lord of War is supposed to be loosely about all his shenanigans in various African countries and abroad.

Bout was extradited by U.S authorities in 2010. The ex-soviet arms dealer will continue to reside in his new 8 x 10 foot home due to charges of terrorism related to a previous U.S sting operation. Would think one would need back up just for that 70′s porn stache á  la Burt Reynolds. Damn thing would make even Chuck Norris flinch.

Bout insists he is a legitimate businessman. You bet your ass he is. As legitimate as a door-to-door Maytag salesman.